A Strange Shade of Black
by SummerJane'10
Summary: A story about Mary-Lynette 3 years after Ash left. Mary-Lynette's life has sort of slipped through the cracks and she hides behind her new College status. But what if Ash finally returns? What if he doesn't? Will she ever be able to pick up the pieces?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter I: Dreaming of Broken Pieces

Mary-Lynette sat in her room watching the small television screen with total disinterest. Her covers were wrapped around her, giving the illusion that she was warm. But inside she felt colder than she ever had before. The phone rang but she didn't pick it up. She knew who was calling. Well, vaguely who was calling. She knew it was one of the sisters… she didn't want to talk to any of them. There was a slight chance that it was her brother Mark but not a big enough chance to make her answer the phone. No one else was in the house. The phone just rang and rang. Finally it went to voice mail. The cheerful sound of her stepmother's voice, asking the caller to leave a message, came on. Shortly followed by a message from who else but Jade… Mary-Lynette was glad she didn't pick up the phone.

"Hey Mare… umm… it's me Jade. Where are you? Haven't heard from you in a while. Starting to get worried." Jade said, concern in her voice. _Sure you're worried, _Mary-Lynette thought bitterly. _It's your fault I'm like this, your fault I'm miserable. You and your disappearing act of a brother_, "Anyways I know things have been rough for you lately but we really would like to see you…" She didn't want to hear the rest. She clicked the message off quickly. Things hadn't been that rough for her lately actually.Mary-Lynette couldn't wait to go back to Yale, to college with her new friends. The thought of getting out of this town again, the thought of not having to think about vampires and werewolves and witches, made her long for the small dinky dorm room and her annoying and conceded roommate, Caroline. God, Mary-Lynette never thought she would miss her. Though Christmas with her family was a fine, she didn't want to stick around any longer. But Mark had insisted and it was true that she missed him. But not _them_… no, she didn't miss _them_ at all.

Mary-Lynette heard the door open and close downstairs. The noise snapped her out of her daze. She blinked multiple times and found that she was watching _Jersey Shore. _She was horrified and reached for the remote but just as she was about to change the channel, the door opened. Mark was standing in the doorway. She looked up at him, slight annoyance showed on her face. She taped three times on the side of her bed.

"It's called knocking." Mary-Lynette said, "You should try it sometime." The corners of Mark's mouth moved up into a grin. He rolled his eyes and went to sit next to her. She looked at him skeptically, "What do you want?" He ignored her question.

"Since when do you watch this show?" He teased, his gaze fixing on the television screen.

"I don't." She said and turned the TV off with a click of the remote, "Now tell me what you want Mark." She demanded. His attention returned to her. He didn't say anything for a minute, looking down at his hands awkwardly.

"Jade umm… said you didn't answer her call. We knew you were home." He finally spit out. He intertwined his hands in different positions, "She wants to know if you'll come over so you can talk face to face, with all of them." He paused again, "They're really worried about you. They think you hate them."

"They're not that far off base." She said bitterly.

"Mare!" Mark exclaimed. She got up off her bed and went over to the window. Looking up at the night sky. The stars were clouded over. Only the moons shone through they're cover. _Typical, _she thought to herself, _even the stars are hiding._ Mary-Lynette's output on life was pretty damn bleak right now. Being back. It's not where she wanted to be. She wanted to be in college. She wanted to forget this place even existed. She wanted to forget the Night World and all the trouble it had caused her. All the pain it had brought. For the first time in her life she wanted to be normal, more than anything. Was that so wrong? Couldn't she just live her life without a constant reminder of a world she shouldn't know about? She didn't want to know about. _It's better to have loved and to have lost, then to have never loved at all. _Whoever said that didn't know what it felt like to have a soulmate. Nor would she ever want to inflict that on anyone.

A long silence had passed without saying anything. Mark was getting very uncomfortable. He was angry about his sister's behavior but most of all he was sad. Sad that she didn't understand that it wasn't Jade, Kestrel or Rowan's fault that Ash had left. He had to point this out to her. He couldn't stop himself anymore.

"It's not their fault you know." Mark said, breaking the silence. Mary-Lynette knew exactly what he was talking about. She turned to look at him sharply.

"I know Mark, it's my fault. But that doesn't mean I'm going to act all buddy-buddy with the girls personally responsible for my fucked up life." She said angrily. Mark flinched.

"You used to be friends with them. What changed?" He said coldly. After all this was his soulmate and her sisters Mary-Lynette was talking about. _What changed? _Mary-Lynette screamed in her head. _They are the reason I now have this huge secret that I can't tell anyone about. They are the reason I almost got killed. They are the reason my heart feels like it has been smashed into a thousand little pieces and only one person in the world can pick them up. _Mary-Lynette stopped herself. She had almost allowed herself to think about _him. _She wouldn't go back there, she just couldn't.

"I wish they had never moved here." She said. Her voice was like ice. It cut through the air and pierced Mark's heart. His eyes widened. Sure, it had been 3 years now since Ash left. That's a lot of days. But he didn't think she had gotten to the point of hatred. The resentfulness had been building up higher and higher in Marry-Lynette's heart. She blamed them for everything except Ash leaving. She blamed herself for that. It didn't help that she couldn't be convinced otherwise. That she was an infuriatingly stubborn person. That once she had made up her mind about something or someone she never changed it. There was only one exception to this but he knew better than to bring Ash up now.

"I'll tell them that you're just too busy to come over tonight." Mark said curtly and turned to leave the room.

"You can tell them whatever you want." She called after him, "It doesn't change anything. I'm not going to see them." Mark stopped for a moment in the doorway. He considered saying something else to her but thought better of it and walked off. There was no point arguing with her now.

Mary-Lynette sat on her windowsill and let the tears drip down her cheeks. It had been a while since she had cried. She felt stupid and immediately wiped the tears away. There was no point in crying, crying wasn't going to bring _him _back, wasn't going to fix the broken friendship. Not that she wanted to fix it. The resentment she felt when it came to the sisters was too strong. Care had turned to bitterness a long time ago. After a year had passed. That's when it started, while she was still in high school even. She didn't even flinch when she applied for a school far away from this desolate place. Somewhere where she could start over. But it hadn't worked. As long as she had her memories she couldn't escape. As desperately as she tried she couldn't wake up from this dreaded nightmare. Mary-Lynette looked up at the cloudy night sky. For once she was glad that the stars had remained out of sight. The last time she had looked up at the stars she had thought that destiny would bring her and him together again. But she was wrong. And though she couldn't admit it to herself… she was broken because of it.

That night Mary-Lynette dreamt. It wasn't the normal blackness of sleep she had gotten so used to. Sleeping pills had dismissed her dreams and replaced them with the peace she wanted. But she had forgotten the pills at Yale, which left her mind open to all kinds of fantasies or nightmares. She couldn't decide in which category to classify her recurring dreams featuring one prominent character.

"Mary-Lynette?" It was Ash. Of course it was Ash. The joy and rush of excitement that she got from seeing him again coursed through her body. She began to run to him. He was leaning against a lamppost at the end of a long road, smiling a little but the smile soon faded as she came towards him. He didn't extend his arms to greet her as she stood in front of him. She looked down at her clothing suddenly; she was wearing a white dress. It was knee length and flowed around her. She looked back up at him. He was scrutinizing her and her dress, and then laughed bitterly. He brought a beer to his lips and took a swig.

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

"I'm here to be with you." The answer moved to her lips before thinking about the words. He laughed again in the same manner as before.

"Why?" His indifference made her take a step back.

"Because you're my soulmate and we're meant to be together." Mary-Lynette said. She believed it with all her heart. Ash scoffed.

"If I wanted to be with you, don't you think I would have come back by now?" He was smiling while he said it, "Or maybe even called you or written you a letter of some sort." Mary-Lynette opened her mouth to say something but he cut her off, "I didn't thought did I? Why do you think that is?"

"I- I don't know." Tears brimmed her eyes. Ash took no notice of them though, he continued.

"Because I've realized exactly what I would be missing if I stayed with you. And trust me, no one is worth that." The dream was slipping away slowly, "So why should I come back? I've got everything I ever wanted." Ash laughed then looked her over, "Everything." He repeated. Mary-Lynette shot up in bed.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 – Bad Reception

Mary-Lynette panted lightly, rubbing the sweat off her forehead. She looked around her room and reached for the phone. Soon enough, though, she realized that she had no one to call. Not at this time in the morning. No one she wanted to talk to anyways. She fell back on the pillow and rested her eyes again but not falling asleep. _I knew I should have bought some more of those pills, _she thought, _I just didn't want anyone to see them and think I'm a drug addict. _She was addicted though. Addicted to the nice and rested feeling she would get when waking up to the realization that she had just spent the last 8 hours not thinking about Ash. There, she said it. Ash Redfern. Did the name make her want to cry, laugh and scream all at the same time? No, the boy did. The boy that had broken her heart. _Stop acting like a bad soap opera! _Mary-Lynette told herself. But it was true. _It happens everyday, love fades, people get hurt, and then they move on. _Somehow she just couldn't take her own advice. Move on? Even the mention of getting over it seemed impossible to her. She didn't know how she would even start to heel the wounds that cut deeply into her. _How could he have done this to me? How could he have just left me here and not come back like he said he would? _She couldn't help but cry. She had started loosing faith in Ash about a year and a half after his absence. By her 19th birthday she had lost all hope that he was ever coming back. But her subconscious kept torturing her with images of him, telling her to her face that he was never coming back. Sometimes he even told her that he didn't love her. That he had never loved her. She didn't want to think back on those dreams… not for an instant. She had considered to possibility that he never loved her but it was much to painful to linger on. Maybe she should think about that though, maybe she shouldn't dismiss the idea so quickly. Maybe he truly never loved her. A pang of pain went through her body and she curled into a ball. Feeling pathetic and miserable. She couldn't believe she was actually going to let a boy make her feel like this. She never thought she'd be one of those girls. The kind of girls that were nothing without their boyfriend/girlfriend. Or "significant other" as some people like to call it. It wasn't just any boy though, he wasn't just a boyfriend, and in fact she wasn't sure she could call him that at all. He was Ash. _No, stop saying his name. It hurts too much. _She thought. She didn't want to stop saying his name though. Maybe she would just reserve it for her thoughts, never to be spoken aloud. Yes, that sounded reasonable to her. Mary-Lynette didn't want to go back to sleep, she was afraid of seeing him again, she only had 2 hours before she had to get up anyways. Today was the day she got to go back to hiding. Hiding in a small dorm room. Hiding from her feelings and everyone that might remind her of things she didn't want to be reminded of. Her plane left at 9 o'clock and she couldn't wait for the long plane ride back.

Ash was sitting in the alleyway. He leaned his head back against the cold brick wall. He closed his eyes and thought about how pathetic he was. Ash _had_ been with Quinn, but he was too busy with Rashel who was concerned about Timmy and how he was sent away to receive help for his issues. The complicated twists of their life made him feel sick. So Quinn had of course rushed home to meet her and comfort her, reassuring her that they had done the right thing. Ash knew that Quinn didn't really give a damn about Timmy's well being but Rashel was everything to him. Like _Mary-Lynette is everything to me._ He didn't want to think too much about her but he couldn't help it. For the last three years what has he been doing with himself? The first year and a half he had been righting his wrongs and all that bullshit. But soon he realized that a lot of the wrongs he had done could never be fixed. He didn't feel like he deserved Mary-Lynette. He was a failure. Not someone she could rely on. Not someone she would want to be with. After that he had lost track of the days, the weeks and eventually the months. They all went by without notice. Without meaning. And so he decided to drown his sorrows in tequila and the amazing company of his best friend, Quinn. He was counting on the fact that Quinn would be the same heartless bastard he had always been but ever since he met Rashel he had become like Ash… hopelessly in love with a human. The new nice and improved Quinn Redfern was useless to Ash's attempts to forget his miserable life. Though now he didn't know if anything could help him. He hit his head back against the wall. Waiting for the pain that should accompany the blow but it never came. He was in too much pain already. _God, you're pathetic. _It's a phrase he seemed to be repeating a lot in his mind lately. His cell phone rang in his pocket. He looked at the number.

"Out of area?" Ash mumbled, a little confused. It might be one of his sisters but they were programmed into his phone. Suddenly he thought, _what if it's her? What a stupid thing to think. _He reconsidered it immediately._ Of course it's not her. Why would she be calling me? _Still though, he felt nervous as he picked up the phone, "Hello?" Ash took a deep breath and waited for the person on the other end to speak.

Mary-Lynette closed her suitcase; a sense of satisfaction came over her. She had managed to survive this trip. She had gotten out alive. She sat on her suitcase for a moment and looked around her old and nearly empty room. Her father and stepmother had already said their goodbyes, which spared her the endless hugging, reassuring and promises to call, at the airport. She only had Mark to say goodbye to but he was strangely absent. She didn't want to leave it the way they had, plus she needed him to drive her to the airport. She knocked on his door.

"Mark?" She called. She heard murmuring coming from the inside of his room. _Oh god, please don't let Jade be in there. _Mary-Lynette thought desperately. But no, if Jade had come over last night she would have made her presence known. Forced Mary-Lynette into some sort of conversation with her. She decided to find out what was going on and opened the door. Mark was sitting on his bed. He looked very nervous and was talking to someone on the phone. When he heard the door open he looked up sharply at her. He almost dropped the phone. Mark quickly regained his cool and spoke into the phone again.

"Could you hang on a minute?" He asked and looked up at her, "What?" He demanded. He seemed to be in a big rush for her to go. Mary-Lynette looked at him, half confused and half skeptical.

"Who are you talking to?" She asked. She bit her lip. It was a habit she was developing. She was becoming more and more on edge about everything.

"None of your business." Mark said sharply. Some frantic shouting came from the other end of the line. Mary-Lynette cocked her head to one side and just looked at Mark. Mark put the phone up to his ear and said, "No." In a very flat tone, "You don't deserve that. Now could you shut up for a god damn second?" Mary-Lynette stared at her brother in shock. She had never heard him talk to anyone like that. Ever. He seemed to have some sort of deep seeded hatred for the person on the other end.

"Are you going to drive me to the airport?" She asked.

"Yeah sure. Could you wait for me downstairs?" He asked. He was polite enough so she obliged. Not bothered him anymore. She wondered who was on the other end of the phone… but she didn't want to waste her time trying to make him tell her. Not when she was about to leave. She hoped he didn't invite the sisters to say goodbye as well. Though it would be more of a hello, goodbye, since she hadn't seen them at all the entire break. She didn't think he would do that though, not after the tone of their last conversation. She made her way downstairs and got herself a cup of coffee. Sitting at the kitchen table she leaned her face against her right palm, propping her elbow on the table and sighed. Mary-Lynette calmly waited for her brother to be finished his unpleasant phone conversation.

Mark waited until he heard Mary-Lynette's footsteps going down the stairs. He then slowly lifted the phone receiver back to his lips.

"Ash? You still there?" He asked.

"Hello?" Ash took a deep breath and waited for the person on the other end to speak. The voice on the other line was not Mary-Lynette's. It was a boy's. He didn't know if he was disappointed or relieved. A little of both maybe?

"Ash Redfern?" The boy on the other end asked. His voice sounded very familiar but he couldn't quite place it.

"Who is this?" He asked gruffly. There was a long pause on the other end of the receiver. Followed by a sharp intake of breath then three words.

"It's Mark Carter." Mark Carter said. Ash was silent for a long time, "You still there?" Mark asked. He seemed concerned for a second.

"Yeah." Ash replied, "How did you get this number?" He asked. He didn't know what to say to Mark. Mary-Lynette's brother Mark. What did he want anyways? Of all people to call him…

"Your sister gave it to me." Mark answered. _Of course she did. She'd probably give him anything he asked for. They were soulmates, and unlike my soulmate she hadn't shunned him to a life of despair and redemption_. Ash suddenly felt very resentful towards Mark. Almost as if Mark was living the life he should have had. The life he was entitled to.

"What do you want Mark?" Ash asked point blank. He didn't want to go on talking to this kid all day. _I shouldn't be this harsh, he's Mare's brother. She loves him. No matter how annoying he is. _Ash waited patiently for his reply.

"Are you ever coming back?" Mark whispered into the phone. Ash put his head back against the alley wall, closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. He didn't want to answer it.

"Yeah." He said. He knew that he would have to go back to her. He would have to go back on his hands and knees, begging her to take him back. Destroying every scrap of dignity he had left. But he was going to wait until he couldn't stand it anymore, until he couldn't stay away from her for another second.

"When?" Mark asked flatly. Ash was feeling the massive amounts of alcohol he had consumed kicking in at last.

"I don't know Mark." Ash said.

"Well you better fucking figure it out!" Mark shouted. He then lowered his voice again, "She's lost all faith in you by the way. She's convinced it's her fault that you left and that you don't love her and never did… blah, blah, blah." Mark was getting more bitter by the second. Ash opened his eyes, shocked by what Mark was telling him.

"She can't think that. Of course I love her." Ash said, "I don't… I don't deserve her in my life." Self-pity seeped through his voice.

"Well you got one thing right at least." Mark said coldly, "But that put aside, she needs you. So I'm only going to say this once…" Mark paused, "You have to come back. She's fucking broken man."

"I'm sure my sisters are taking good care of her." Ash whispered. Mark was making him feel guilty beyond belief. He wanted to come back. He would in a second. But he couldn't move right now. More than that, he was petrified of what he would find when he went back. Mary-Lynette broken? He just couldn't face it.

"She won't even talk to them." Mark said, "She blames them for everything that's happened to her, but not only that… they remind her of you." Ash took a sharp intake of breath. There was a bit of a clatter, it seemed that Mark almost dropped his phone, "Could you hang on a minute?" Ash heard Mark whisper then he said,"What?" Sharply to someone else, who had obviously just entered the room. Suddenly there was someone else's voice in the room. Even without the enhanced hearing Ash knew who it was.

"Who are you talking to?" She asked. Mary-Lynette. Ash exhaled a pained breath. That was it. He was done for. Her voice was all he needed. He was coming back. He was coming back right now. Ash was frantic. He needed to talk to her. To tell her to stay where she was. That he was coming back for her. That he loved her and that he would never abandon her again, no matter how much she begged him to.

"Let me talk to her!" He shouted, Mark wasn't listening, "Give Mary-Lynette the phone Mark or I swear to god I will…" Ash was cut off.

"No." Mark said flatly, "You don't deserve that. Now could you shut up for a god damn second?" Ash stopped yelling. _Mark was right. I didn't deserve that. I mean look at me. I'm sitting in an alleyway, smashing my head against the wall. I'm Ash Redfern, there was no girl in the world I couldn't get but there was only one girl in the world I wanted. That was Mary-Lynette. Why should I deprive myself of her just because I'm a bad person? Fuck that. She's mine. Always will be. _Ash pulled himself off the ground. His normal agility a bit off because of the alcohol.On the phone he could hear Mark getting rid of Mary-Lynette.

"Ash? You still there?" Mark asked finally.

"Yeah, but not for long." Ash replied, about to hang up.

"Wait! There's something you should know about Mary-Lynette, she's—" Ash interrupted him mid sentence.

"Whatever I need to know about Mary-Lynette I'll figure out myself when I get there." Ash snapped his phone shut and ran out onto the streets of Las Vegas. Grabbing a taxi and heading home, while booking a direct flight out of here. He would go to her. Sweep her off her feet and tell her how much he's missed her. How much he loves her… etc. etc. Sounds like a plan.

Mark heard the dial tone; Ash had hung up on him.

"Leaving." He finished his sentence but it was too late. _Shit, _he whispered under his breath and went downstairs to drive his sister to the airport.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 – Plane Rides and Awkward Conversations

Mary-Lynette sat down in her seat on the airplane. Her hair was tied messily back into a ponytail and there were dark shadows under her eyes that she didn't even bother to cover up. It was a plane ride after all. She didn't exactly need to look her best. She leaned back on the rather uncomfortable seat in the business class section. She regretted not being able to afford the luxuries that came with a first class ticket but she was used to not being able to afford the nicer things in life. Mary-Lynette closed her eyes for a brief moment. She was tired because of her lack of sleep due to her dream. For once she didn't seem to care if she dreamt again, she was too exhausted to give a damn. Unfortunately she didn't get the opportunity to sleep because a flight attendant tapped her on the shoulder and reminded her politely to tuck her carry-on under the seat properly. She was sitting next to the window. She looked out on the long stretch of pavement. The flight time from Oregon to Connecticut was approximately 5 hours. She had her laptop under the seat and was planning on finishing her psychology essay but right now she didn't know if she really had the energy. Someone sat down in the seat beside her. She looked them over quickly. It was a boy; looked a little older than her, tanned skin. He smiled at her, his eyes lit up with excitement. She looked away.

"Where are you heading?" He asked politely. He had a nice voice, whimsical kind of. He seemed very happy for a person about to depart on a 5 hour-long journey in a machine that basically just gets launched in the air.

"Connecticut?" She replied, it sounded more like a question. He laughed.

"Yeah, I guessed that. I meant, where _in _Connecticut?" _Oh, _Mary-Lynette thought stupidly.

"Umm… I go to Yale." She said.

"Ah… so you're one of those smart girls. What's your major?" He asked. She didn't really want to answer all his questions. But she was about to spend 5 hours with this guy so she didn't want to be rude.

"Astronomy." Mary-Lynette answered, "With a minor in psychology." She had always dreamed of being an astronomer, to discover something new in the night sky. But now the study seemed empty, like she had no real passion for it anymore. She hadn't even brought her telescope to college. Once upon a time she would refer to everything with a vague reference to astronomy, not anymore though. She wasn't quite sure why she was taking a psych class… it was interesting enough. She probably needed a psychologist more than she wanted to be one.

"Do you like it?" He asked.

"What?" She looked up at him. Looking into his brown eyes. He looked sincere. She shouldn't be so indifferent to him.

"Astronomy." He answered. She shrugged.

"I used to." She said and looked away again. She was being pretty honest to a guy she didn't know anything about. When he didn't press her with anymore questions she took it as an opportunity to ask her own, "What about you? Where are you heading to?"

"I'm visiting my Aunt." He said and smiled, "She's kind of crazy. I'm there to see that she doesn't do anything too insane." Mary-Lynette thought back on Aunt Opal for a minute, but dismissed the thought immediately.

"I'm Mary-Lynette." She stuck out her hand to shake his.

"Gabriel." Gabriel replied and smiled as he shook her hand.

"It's nice to meet you Gabriel." She gave him the small-town friendly smile she used to give everyone she just met. Except Ash, she had never welcomed him with that smile. But since the other option was kicking Gabriel in the shin she decided to stick with the smile.

"Nice to meet you too." He replied. Gabriel seemed nice enough but there was nothing that special about meeting him. No chemistry, not really anyways. Actually she hadn't really felt anything romantic for anyone else after meeting Ash. It was sad that she couldn't force herself into anything other than friendship. Not that she had really been the romantic kind before Ash but post-Ash… her future love life seemed a lot more hopeless. So as she shook Gabriel's hand and felt the warmth it had to offer only to realize that she wasn't interested at all… her smile fell a little and she felt like her whole day had gotten a lot more desolate.

Ash arrived at his sisters' house mid-afternoon. Energy was flowing through his body but not in a good way. He was practically shaking. He remembered the last time he was here, had it really been three years. He remembered the empty promise he had made to Mary-Lynette, that he would return in a year's time. He walked up the same front porch he did all that time ago, the hole that he fell through had since been fixed. He chucked in remembrance of that particular moment. Ash walked up to the door but before he could knock, it was already being flung open.

"You moron!" It was Jade standing in the doorway. She crossed her arms over her chest and looked at him with one eyebrow raised.

"Nice to see you too Jade." Ash smiled sarcastically, "Why am I a moron?" He asked, dreading the response.

"You want to short or the long version." She smiled and gave him a light hug. She was happy that he had come back even if he was a total moron.

"Spare me, please Jade." Ash said and moved by her into the house. He looked around for his other sisters but it seemed to be only her, "Where is everyone?" He asked. Taking a seat on the couch and putting his feet up on the coffee table.

"Out hunting." She said curtly, "I stayed to wait for you. Kestrel and Rowan were too appalled by your stupidity to bother." She said giddily. Ash just glared at her, that's when Mark came into the room.

"You… you…" He paused, he was fuming on the spot, "There aren't enough bad words to describe you!" Mark yelled. Ash just looked at him confused. Wasn't Mark the one who had called him, practically begging him to come back? Telling him that Mary-Lynette needed him here. _I thought he would be more grateful to have me back__?_ Ash didn't quite know what to say.

"I came here to see Mary-Lynette not to be told off by her kid brother." Ash said coldly. Mark scoffed and rolled his eyes, "Where is she?" Ash asked both of them. Jade looked at Mark and Mark looked at Jade.

Mark gave Ash a huge smile as he said, "She's not here."

Mary-Lynette looked out the window at the clouds. The plane had taken off about two hours ago. She had tried sleeping but she couldn't. Not with Gabriel trying to talk to her all the time. He had told her about his interests and dreams. And he just wouldn't shut up. She didn't want to be rude or anything but she had to say something.

"Do you ever stop talking?" Mary-Lynette said, interrupting him in the middle of his explanation of his parent's divorce, "I'm sorry that didn't come out right." She apologized as soon as she saw his shocked expression.

"No. It came out perfectly." He said and smiled gratefully, "Sometimes I can't stop talking when I get nervous. And I get nervous when I talk to girls. Especially beautiful ones like you." He reached over to touch her arm lightly. _Was that supposed to be a pickup line? _She asked herself, moving her arm away from his touch. He looked disappointed, "I didn't mean to be forward or anything, I'm sorry." He said. She bit her lip. And thought up an excuse as quickly as she could.

"No. It's not that. It's just that… well you surprised me." She said. _God, that was a stupid thing to say. I hope he doesn't take that as a sign that I want him to ask me out. _A smile slowly crept across Gabriel's face. _Damn it._

"So maybe sometime after we land we could…" He started but she cut him off again. She couldn't listen to this. It wasn't going to happen. She could feel her rejection on the tip of her tongue but she couldn't say it. He was nice and she didn't want to hurt his feeling. So she said the first thing that came to mind.

"Actually I have a boyfriend. I'm sorry." Mary-Lynette blurted out. She kept biting her lip and watched as rejection turned to disappointment in his expression.

He kept his cool though and looked down for a brief second before mumbling, "Oh."

"It's not that I don't like you…" Her voice trailed off. _Why did you do that, why didn't you just go out to coffee or something with him? _Mary-Lynette knew that to go out with him would just be leading him on though. She had already accepted the fact that she would probably spend the rest of her life either alone or settling for second best. And she wasn't quite ready to settle yet… because somewhere deep down she still believed in Ash. Though she couldn't admit it to herself. _You're a heartless girl Mary-Lynette Carter, _she told herself. Lately she had really grown into herself, she was a lot less skinny and awkward than she was 3 years ago and as a result she had gotten a lot more attention from the male species. She'd even been on a few dates. _What an awful waste of time that was. _

"No. It's okay. I get it. Don't worry 'bout it." He turned away from her and got out his computer. Obviously the conversation was over. She sighed and looked out the window again. The length of the flight seemed double. Tension between the two travelers elongated the time. Mary-Lynette leaned her head against the side of the plane and closed her eyes, feeling sleep overcome her.

Ash looked between Mark and Jade with a blank expression, "What do you mean she's not here?" His voice was as controlled as possible.

"I mean, she's not here." Mark said, still smiling.

"Well I know she's not _here_… is she at your house or star gazing or something… that's why I'm asking you where she is." He said. He didn't understand what he meant. He knew she wasn't in the house, that much was obvious.

"She doesn't look at the stars anymore, that's something else you killed for her." Mark said bitterly.

"Mark…" Jade warned. She looked at him disapprovingly.

"What he means to say is…" She started but Ash cut her off. His patience was wearing thin.

"I know what he means… I just want to know where she is. So I can get the fuck out of this house and go get her." He said.

"Well it's more complicated than that." Jade replied patiently. Mark had turned away from them to hide his smirk.

"No it's not. Just tell me where she is and I'll drive and go get her." Ash said determined. He didn't know why they were being so difficult.

"Unless you have a flying car I don't think that will be possible." Mark said and laughed bitterly.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Ash stood up, grabbed Mark by the shoulder and turned him around to look at him in the eyes. He stared him down in a threatening manner.

"It means… she's in a plane, heading to Connecticut. And if you hadn't interrupted me mid-sentence and hung up you would have known that." Mark crossed his arms over his chest. His eyes narrowed into slits. _This can't be happening, _Ash thought, _I am a fucking moron. I just worked up all my courage to come and get her and she's not even fucking here? _He turned away from Mark and sat back down on the couch, feeling defeated.

"But that's okay!" Jade went on as cheerfully as she could, "Because you can just go and get her. I mean sure it will take a bit more time but that's okay!" Jade reassured him. Ash was not in the mood for her annoying optimism.

"What's the point? She's not going to want to see me." Ash mumbled. Jade looked at him with disbelief. She opened her mouth to say something but Mark's laughing interrupted her, "You find something funny." _I really want to beat this kid up, _Ash thought to himself. It was hard not to smile at the visual.

"This is the great Ash Redfern that we were all so afraid of three years ago?" Mark laughed again, "You're pathetic." Ash looked up at Mark and didn't say a word. _God, he's right. _

"Shut up." Ash said coldly. Then stuck his hands in his pockets.

"Not until you understand that you need to fucking wake up and realize that the world doesn't revolve around you. And your pride isn't the most important thing anymore, my sister is. Now just… go." Mark resented Ash so much for what he had done to Mary-Lynette but Ash not going back to her would destroy her. So he sucked it up and acted like a man. Which is more than he could say for Ash, "And you call yourself a vampire."

"No, I don't actually." Ash said.

"Lamia, whatever. You're just a coward." Mark said. Jade shot him a look but Mark ignored her. Ash laughed.

"Is this supposed to be reverse psychology? You think I'm just going to run off to Connecticut to prove you wrong?" Ash looked up at him. He didn't want to prove this jack ass right but… Ash pulled out his cell phone, "Hello? Yes, I'd like to reserve a ticket to Connecticut…" Mark and Jade smiled at each other happily. He just glared back at them and continued the arrangements, "Yes, one moment." He put his hand over the receiver and whispered, "Where is she in Connecticut?"

"New Haven." Mark smiled at him. Ash didn't smile back. He repeated the town to the operator and made arrangements to depart on the next flight, at 7 o'clock the next morning. He expressed his gratitude and hung up the phone.

"This doesn't mean you're right or that I like you." He told Mark, "But I love Mary-Lynette… despite you." Mark just smiled and put his arm around Jade. There was a moment of silence, "Okay." Ash said at last, "Tell me everything that's happened to Mary-Lynette since I left. And only to Mary-Lynette because I don't give a damn what happened to you." Ash said coldly. Mark smirked and sat down at a chair across from him.

Mark thought for a moment before beginning, "Before I start, remember that everything that I am about to tell you is your fault."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 – Normal Fantasies and Fantasies of Normal

Mary-Lynette arrived at Yale University at last. The large campus was filled with the eager student body that raced around her. Personally she didn't really want to mimic their energy level. Gabriel had tried to get away from her as soon as the plane landed. She had hurt his pride, and as she had learned from Ash, pride was very important to guys. She didn't want to compare Ash to Gabriel in anyway though. _That would be like comparing… oops almost did a space analogy. _Mary-Lynette dragged her suitcase across the quad. All around her students were arriving and hugging their parents goodbye. She finally got to her dorm building and pressed the elevator up button. She was about to get on when she was attacked from behind. Someone was squeezing her to death.

"You're back!" The person said in her ear excitedly.

"Hi Hailey." Mary-Lynette lugged the extra weight she had on her back into the elevator with her, "Could you please umm… detach yourself?" She asked as politely as she could. Hailey let go of her and stood in front of her with a big smile on her cute button face. Her blonde hair a bit disorderly but she looked at Mary-Lynette with glowing blue eyes. Hailey was a girl who lived down the hall from her, she was very smart and a tutor for anyone who needed her. She lived with Mary-Lynette's other friend, Jess.

"How are you? You're the last one back. I've been waiting for you." Hailey smiled warmly. _This is why I missed college so much. Here was a bunch of normal people who didn't know about the Night World. Who hadn't ever spent their time chasing a goat killer who turned out to be a werewolf/an old friend. Normal. _Well maybe not completely normal. Her friend Jess claimed she was a witch, but since she actually knew what real witches were like… her magical incantations seemed like child's play.

"I'm good." Mary-Lynette lied, "Glad to be back." At least that was the truth. The elevator reached their floor and Hailey told her all about her Christmas on her grandfather's ranch. Mary-Lynette nodded a long, sympathizing with the horrors of no Internet connection or cell service. As soon as they walked onto the floor it seemed, they were swarmed. Jess, Clark and Anna were on them in an instant. Mary-Lynette wasn't used to having this many friends. Especially this many that didn't know anything about her life pre-Yale, and didn't care for that matter. College was a place to reinvent yourself and she had done just that. Clark hugged her for a little bit too long and she had to pull away so not to give him the wrong impression. His feelings for her had been growing far past the limits of just friends, not that she encouraged him at all. The group all greeted her and she told them that she had to get unpacked and she would meet them for dinner. She smiled a farewell and continued down the hallway to her room. Caroline, her roommate, had not yet returned and the other half of the room was empty. Vaguely she remembered Caroline telling her she wouldn't be back till the Monday, that was tomorrow so she decided to enjoy her freedom while it lasted. Mary-Lynette sighed as she sat down on her bed, the room still seeming abandoned.

"Welcome home." She said to herself with a sad smile, "Welcome to normal." _Yeah right._

Ash sat on the plane in the first class section. He had no one to blame but himself for this extra voyage, as much as he wanted to blame that Mark kid. He should have been keeping tabs on the whereabouts of his soulmate to begin with. In his jacket pocket were all the letters he had never sent. They said things like: _I miss you, I'll love you till the day I die _and _Always and Forever. _All the things that Mary-Lynette needed to hear. But he hadn't sent the letters. He had been too much of a coward. Too caught up with his own failures to see that he was failing her as well. He let himself slip into the memory of Mark's story

Mark's story told him what had happened to Mary-Lynette after he had left. _The next few months she seemed fine, she was putting on a good face at school. Better than usual actually. She started making new friends and she hung out with them a lot. _He remembered how Jade had interrupted at that point. _She was putting a bit of distance between herself and us. We understood. It was all very overwhelming to her. _Mark coughed poignantly and continued. _So anyways she was actually doing a lot better in school, she was more popular, she got better grades… she went to parties and stuff. But at home it was a different story. She was sad, she cried in her room. She didn't talk to Claudia or our dad at all… By the end of the year she was still talking to Jade, Kestrel and Rowan, more Rowan than anyone but still. And then came the end of the first year. _Mark paused as if the memory pained him. _At first life went on the same as usual. It was senior year so she was busy applying to colleges. We started noticing that the schools she was interested in were the farthest away from this town. Even that didn't clue us into how awful she was feeling until one day… about a year and a half after you left… _That was when Kestrel and Rowan came back from hunting. Kestrel finished Mark's sentence for him. _That's when she cut off all communication from us poor vampires. _Mark raised an eyebrow at her and made it very clear to everyone that _he _was the one telling this story not them. _Anyways, so she cut off all communication. Deleted them from her contacts online and on her cell. Wouldn't talk to them at school, wouldn't go over after school ever. Wouldn't see them when they came over. Started being obsessed with keeping herself busy, with school activities, with new friends, with popularity and parties and SATs. I think by this time she had given up all hope that you were ever coming back. So stopped star watching or even talking about stars. We were surprised she even decided to major in it at university. She got into Yale and packed her stuff up and never looked back. Christmas was the first time she's been back in… well it seems like forever. She kept making up excuses about why she couldn't come home on the other holidays. And it's all cause of you truly. _

Those last words really stung Ash. It was all his fault. He should have come back after the first year. He should have sent those letters or called or something. But now she probably hated him and if she hated him then he hated himself.

His mind returned to the present. For the first time he noticed that a young lady was making eyes at him from the seat across the aisle. Ash contemplated her for a moment. She was pretty, sure. Blonde, blue eyes, nice smile. _She's not Mary-Lynette. No one is. _He thought bitterly. Ash closed his eyes, suddenly worn out. How could he not be? He had spent the whole day traveling. Ash fell into a deep sleep immediately.

"You miss me?" Mary-Lynette whispered in his ear seductively. _Where are we this time? _He wondered. Ash looked around to see that they were in the middle of the forest. Not very original, he should work on that for his future dreams. Ash was used to these fantasies of Mary-Lynette coming up every time he closed his eyes. She kissed his neck, pressing him to answer.

"Yes…" He moaned. Extremely happy to be in her company again. This Mary-Lynette had never pushed him away. He gripped her tightly around the waist and pulled her in to kiss her on the lips. Ash was pretty good at imagining but it was never perfect. Not the same electricity, not the same flow or the same current between them. He could never get it quite right. He was close though, and getting better. This felt almost real. Ash pushed Mary-Lynette up against a tree, his lips pressed against hers viscously, "I've missed you so very much." He admitted. She giggled. She pushed him back to look him in the eyes. She smiled and touched his cheek softly, almost as if she was admiring him. Ash couldn't control himself.

"You should get more sleep." Mary-Lynette laughed at his lack of restraint. Ash nodded and his lips made a chain of kisses down to her neck. He parted his lips a bit, stopping at the arch of her neck. Feeling desire, flow through him easily. She tilted her head slightly.

"Are you sure…?" Ash began but Mary-Lynette interrupted him.

"Ash… you can do whatever you want to me." She touched his lips lightly with her index finger, "It's your dream." He wished it weren't just a dream, he wished this were real. That this was really Mary-Lynette in his arms.

"I love you." He told her. He let his fangs graze her skin for a moment before sinking his teeth in. Ash woke up with a jolt.

Mary-Lynette sat on her dorm bed. She contemplated going out but decided that she was too tired from the day's journey. The long dinner she had with her friends was all she was up for tonight. She tried to convince herself that it was much more fun hanging out with her new college friends than her immortal vampire blood sisters. It wasn't hard to convince herself of that… her new college friends didn't almost get her killed by a rogue werewolf. She shuttered in remembrance. Mary-Lynette lay down on her bed and gazed out the window. A full sky of stars was there to greet her. They were twinkling and dancing around the sky. The binoculars she had hidden away in a box on the top shelf of her closet beckoned to her. But she didn't go get that. She only had to remind herself of the last time she looked up at the beautiful night sky to convince herself otherwise. She didn't trust the night anymore or anything it brought with it. Including the stars. Mary-Lynette got up lazily and made her way over to the window. She looked up at the dazzling lights, glowing over her. She sighed. She couldn't take her eyes off them. _We'll be looking up at the same night sky! _The words echoed through her mind. She shook her head furiously. _Vulnerable. _Was the first word that came to mind. She had opened herself up to that. Mary-Lynette shut the curtains briskly and returned to her small but comforting bed. She popped a pill she had left on her bedside table and laid her head on the pillow, allowing it to take effect. She closed her eyes. There were no dreams that accompanied this action.

Ash arrived at the university at around three in the morning. It wasn't hard getting the information of where she slept from the drunk, partying co-eds around him. He just had to convince them that telling him was the right thing to do. Mary-Lynette probably wouldn't be too pleased about his methods of persuasion but then again Mary-Lynette wouldn't be too pleased about anything he's been doing recently. Better not tell her then. He was nervous. _Very nervous_, he admitted to himself. He arrived at her room and knocked. He felt stupid. What was he going to do, just knock on the door to say hello with some flowers he picked up at the airport? That was a booty-call if he'd ever seen one. No one answered the door. Ash took a deep breath then twisted the door knob… _this is it, _was the only thought he allowed himself to think as he opened the door to face his once abandoned soulmate.

**A/N – Hey all you nice and intelligent people who read this story! I've never written an author's note before… this is fun… but not too fun… I mean, as fun as it can be to write a note to people you don't know… yeah. Thanks for all of you who seem to like this story. It really shocked me. I hope you enjoy the latest installment even if you're not **_**too **_**pleased with the fall off a cliff ending. Please review and comment… I like nice people who tell me what they think. I might even dedicate a chapter to you… I know you'll be like, "My life is finally complete!" Anyways this is probably too long for an author's note… but since I don't know the proper A/N etiquette I will just say this. Thank you for reading, please review if you feel like making a teenage girl squeal and run around her house dancing to Jesse's Girl… and have a beautiful day wherever you may be. **

**XOXO**

**Summer Jane**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 3 – Sex, Lies and Videotapes

**This chapter is dedicated to Lundybundy15 because it was his or her (probably her) life mission. Now I feel good about myself for helping someone reach his or her (probably her) goal in life. See Lundybundy15? Dreams do come true! You get a fantastically depressing chapter dedicated to you… joy!**

_I know that there's nothing I could say to him that would make him go away. No matter how much I pretended I didn't care, he remained. Is that true love? Or is that guilt? Has he finally realized that he needs me more than anything in the world? But the most important question of all is… is he the same person he was three years ago? And though he says he would never do so… would he leave me twice? _

…

Ash turned the doorknob on Mary-Lynette's dorm room door. He opened it to find a pretty bleak looking room. One half was filled with posters of annoying pop icons and the other end was bare. Only the laptop and two suitcases on the floor indicated that it was inhabited at all. The curtains were drawn shut, cutting off the view to the beautiful starry night. Ash questioned if he had gotten the right room. But then he looked down at the messy and tangled bed spread and knew that he wasn't mistaken. There, lying in between the dark blue comforter was Mary-Lynette. _His _Mary-Lynette, the only one he ever wanted. The only one he ever needed. He approached the bed cautiously. Not making a sound. He saw a half empty bottle of pills on the side-table; he picked them up to examine them. Sleeping pills, maybe he needed some of these. He wondered why she had them. _Nightmares, _he thought bitterly. Dismissing the thought he knelt next to her. She was turned the other way but he could clearly make out her unmistakable features that made him fall so in love with her in the first place.

"Oh Mare." He moaned. There was no way to control his actions. He kissed her neck over and over again, "Please forgive me. Please." There was sighing then she rolled over and opened her eyes slowly. She blinked a couple times. They widened in shock. He looked straight into them. This was better than any fantasy. This was better than anything he could ever imagine. He kissed her on the lips, hard. Probably bruising them with his force. She pulled away as soon as she could figure out what was going on.

"Ash..." She stopped breathing heavily, "Oh my god." This was more real then her other dreams. This felt like reality. He looked like Ash though a little older, shorter hair and more tussled. He smelled the same. He felt the same.

"I'm here." He said. He sounded like Ash too. He seemed like he was begging her, "I'm here and I love..." She cut him off.

"Don't say that." She pushed herself up in bed, "Don't tease me. All my dreams have the same result. What? Have you gotten bored of crushing me? You want to toy with my emotions now…" She interrupted herself and looked around the room suddenly very aware of her surroundings. She all of a sudden pinched herself, "This isn't a… you're…" She looked at me with renewed shock. The reality of this whole situation was setting in. That's when the crying started. Once she realized that this was actually happening she wouldn't let Ash touch her. Not to comfort her or anything. The crying went on for a long time. Longer than she would have liked but there was nothing much she could do about it. She couldn't believe he was back. She didn't know how to feel about it. She was angry, upset, sad, hurt, betrayed… but in the back of her mind she still loved him and that part of her subconscious rejoiced his return. Finally Mary-Lynette stopped crying. It was pretty abrupt. She looked up at Ash. It was painful even to look at him. She couldn't think straight. Everything was just a mix of emotions. They confused her and lead her in different directions. Mary-Lynette felt her heart pumping harder than it had in 3 years. _This is not happening! He left! He abandoned me… he can't just come back and expect everything to be fine between us! I was getting over this. Normal. I want to be normal! _She thought desperately. Ash stared back at her… there was so much pain in his eyes. She looked away again. The dead silence continued.

"Mare…" Ash started but she just held up a hand to stop him. She wasn't ready to hear this. She wasn't ready for his explanations or apologies.

"Don't talk to me." She was determined to cut him out of her life. So that she'd never have to feel what she did in these last three years. Maybe this was a time for closure… then again maybe she couldn't handle closure, "You don't have a right to be here." Mary-Lynette's voice was ice cold. Ash had never heard her speak to anyone like that.

"I needed to come back. Mark called…"

"Mark called?" Mary-Lynette interrupted angrily. _How dare Mark call him that was none of his business! It's my life, _she ranted mentally. She didn't have to say the words aloud. Ash heard them loud and clear.

"He cares about you. He could see you were in pain so he called me. It was all I needed to realize that I should stop being so selfish and come back. He told me what happened and I have to tell you how sorry—" Mary-Lynette cut him off again. She seemed to be doing a lot of interrupting.

"I don't need your apologies or your pity." She hissed.

"I have no pity for you, at least you found a healthy way to deal with it. I only ask that you take pity on me. I turned to alcohol mostly. But look at you!" Ash exclaimed. She let him finish this thought, "You're in college, and you have new friends and a new look and a new life. You didn't just lounge around and drown yourself in self-pity for 3 years." Mary-Lynette just looked at him blankly. She didn't know what to say to him anymore, she was at a lost for words. Ash took a deep breath and got up off his knees to sit on her bed. She backed as far away from him as possible. He reached out for her hand and all was lost. Her mind went completely blank as he touched her skin. Sparks, fireworks, silver cords, telepathy… it was all present in her life again. Somehow she had found the other half of her soul again. She didn't want to waste any time. His lips met hers with a fiery passion. You could tell that he'd been waiting for this for a long time. There was no doubt in her mind that she loved him and that she would continue to love him forever.

_It's nice to hear that love. I was beginning to think you had given up on me. _It was Ash, his thoughts. She was momentarily stunned. She had nearly forgotten what it was like to be in someone else's head. Mary-Lynette didn't respond through the connection, instead she began to hastily undo the buttons on his shirt. Kissing down his chest as she went. Ash moaned, he pushed her down on the bed and got on top of her. She straddled him. He continued to kiss her passionately. The kisses trained down her neck, his fangs gently grazing her skin but he was careful never to puncture it. It drove her crazy. Hesitantly he lifted up her shirt. His touch was moving so painfully slow.

_It's okay… take it off. _She encouraged him mentally. He smiled and lifted her shirt off, then began with the bra as she went for the jeans. Pretty soon it was just a one thin layer that separated them from being together. Really together, for the first time. Mary-Lynette was anxious where as Ash was more tentative. Not wanting to push her into anything too soon.

_Are you sure? _He asked her, glad that he didn't actually have to take his lips away from hers to speak the words. Mary-Lynette nodded vigorously. He looked deeply in her eyes.

_I'm sure. I'm sure that I want you. _Mary-Lynette thought. His lips moved down to her chest as he removed the last separation. He was too into it. Too ready to make her his forever, too thrilled, excited, shocked even that this was finally happening. He was too deeply involved with what was going on to hear the last complete thought that went through Mary-Lynette's head in that moment, _It's the perfect goodbye. _

…

Ash woke up lackadaisically. A smile crossed his face as he remembered the events of last night. How it had felt. How Mary-Lynette had professed her undying love for him many times during it. How it meant something. It had never meant something before with all the other girls. And god was it amazing. She was glorious, radiant, there were no words that could fully even began to sum up the emotion he felt the previous night. He rolled over to find that Mary-Lynette was not lying next to him. He opened his eyes and looked around. She had a bra on and was pulling on her jeans, standing near the closet.

"Do you have class today?" Ash asked. He beamed as he saw her in the morning light. She had really grown since the last time he had seen her. She was even more beautiful then before, he didn't know that was even possible. Mary-Lynette was trying to get ready as quickly as possible; she had hoped to be gone by the time he woke up. She nervously tucked a piece of hair behind her ear before turning. She had to look at him eventually, though she didn't trust herself. _No, I went over this. Common Mary-Lynette, last night was revenge. You have to break his heart the way he broke yours or else you'll never be satisfied. He destroyed you remember? _She told herself over and over again. He looked so… happy though. _Good, _she thought bitterly, _that means this will hurt him more. _

"No." She said simply and did up the top button on her jeans. He looked perplexed for a second.

"Then why are you getting dressed?" He asked.

"Because I'm meeting my friends for breakfast." Mary-Lynette said.

"Can I come? It's about time they meet your boyfriend." Ash said and began sitting up.

"You're not my boyfriend." She used the new found bitchiness she had learned from being around the popular kids… from being a popular kid. She couldn't open herself up to him again, "Far from it. In fact, I don't think I want you here anymore."

Ash scoffed coldly, "That's not what you said last night."

"I said a lot of things last night that I didn't mean." Mary-Lynette replied lied quickly. Ash looked up into her eyes suddenly. He held her gaze.

"Common Mare, this isn't you. I know you." Ash said. He felt how she was feeling. Vulnerable. Frightened. Betrayed. He just didn't understand why she hadn't just told him this last night instead of giving him renewed hope and then ripping it all out from under him… _oh_. The realization stung like mad, "Why would you do this to me Mare? I'm your soulmate…"

"HOW COULD YOU JUST NOT COME BACK?" She screamed, suddenly loosing the calm icy cold exterior she had tried to retain, "HOW COULD YOU JUST LEAVE ME AND NOT CALL OR WRITE?

"Mary-Lynette…" Ash started to soothe her. Her name on his tongue tasted so good, "That doesn't give you the right to lead me on… to do me and then just never speak to me again."

"We're talking now aren't we?" Mary-Lynette returned to her bitterness.

"You were going to leave without saying a word." Ash continued, "How could you sleep with me and tell me you love me when you were feeling all this resentment towards me?" Mary-Lynette turned away angrily. Not wanting to meet his disapproving eyes.

"How could I?" Her voice was nothing louder than a whisper, "How could you? Look what you've done to me Ash. I can't even look at the stars anymore. I can't talk to your sisters. I hate you so much it hurts but at the same time I don't want anything more than to be with you forever. I thought you were never coming back. I thought you had decided that I wasn't worth giving up your life for. That I was a mistake, that you didn't care about me, that you never loved me and never would. You let me believe that. You let me feel this agony that I deal with every second of every day without an explanation. And then you just appear out of nowhere and expect me to forgive you and pretend that no time was lost. So the question Ash isn't how could I… it's how fucking could you?" She spit the last words at Ash. He remained quiet. He didn't know what to say to her. Mary-Lynette just shook her head and laughed humorlessly to herself while pulling on a blouse and heading out the door.

Before she had gone she heard Ash say, "I'm not leaving again. No matter how much you want me gone… I'll never leave you again." Mary-Lynette continued out the door and headed down the meet her new friends. Knowing very well that she wasn't going to mention a word of last night's events to any of them. She began thinking about everything. _Would he leave me twice? _It was the last thought left in her head. She knew that he had told her he would never leave her again. But how could she believe him… after everything. He had promised he would come back in a year… he didn't. He had promised to always love her… she was suspicious he had ever felt that way at all. It was confusing. This whole thing was confusing.

"May?" Clark asked from across the breakfast table. He took her hand in his; she pulled it away almost immediately. He called her May, which was his nickname for her. There have been a lot of variations on here extremely long name. This one for some reason bothered her. May was a different name, a different girl's name. She wasn't May. She was Mary-Lynette, that's all she ever could be. But is that true? It seemed she wasn't Mary-Lynette anymore. _Not without Ash_, she thought. So she let the nickname slide.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm just distracted." Mary-Lynette replied. The group looked at her worriedly. They started probing her with the same old annoying questions… _what's wrong? Are you okay? What's up? _She gave the interrogators very vague answers about being stressed about school or something. They immediately offered their help but before Mary-Lynette could gently brush them off and tell them that it was fine, there was a hand on her shoulder. She turned around to see Ash was standing there.

"Can I talk to you?" Ash said, he was clutching his cell phone very tightly. His look was urgent. Mary-Lynette looked at him, ignoring the glances from her friends, and began to nod when Clark spoke up.

"I'm sorry, I don't think we've met. You're May's friend?" Clark asked. Ash turned to look at him with a stone cold expression.

"No, I'm Mare's boyfriend." Ash put the emphasis on his nickname for her, which made Mary-Lynette smile. She didn't bother contradicting him on the boyfriend front. Maybe they were just a couple going through some issues… not that they were ever a real couple. But what was she going to say? _"He's not my boyfriend he's my vampire soulmate who's bound to me and I haven't seen in three years." _She didn't think so. She kind of felt bad for Clark as he sat there looking hurt. Haley, Jess and Anna on the other hand looked totally impressed.

"Oh." Was Clark's reply, he turned away from them. Ash narrowed his eyes at him. He projected a thought into Mary-Lynette's head, _See? That's why I've never liked humans. _She scowled and used the metal connection as well seeing as she couldn't say any of this out loud; _He's at least been here for me. Unlike some people… _She thought, her bitter tone also coming off in her thoughts.

"I'm sorry, I fucked up. How many times do you want me to say it?" Ash exclaimed out loud. The entire table turned to look at him, except Mary-Lynette. She was still sitting with her arms crossed over her chest. Frowning. Clark looked at the two of them, renewed hope in his eyes, "I really need to talk to you."

"If it's about us… I don't want to talk about it right now." Mary-Lynette whispered. Her voice so soft no one but Ash could hear her.

"It's not." Ash said then pulled her up and dragged her out of the quad. Mary-Lynette stood there with the same distant expression as before, "Mare…" He started but hesitated. Like he didn't quite know how to put it. _Oh god, _she saw a plane ticket sticking out of his pocket, _he's leaving again. _Though she thought she would be relieved. The thought of him leaving again caused her unimaginable pain.

_ I'm not leaving you again… stop thinking that! _Ash had heard her thoughts and was getting annoyed by the fact that she didn't trust him at all. She frowned.

"Then what is it?" Mary-Lynette said impatiently. Ash looked away again and sighed deeply.

"It's your brother." Ash said, he had her full attention, "Something went wrong with a ritual my sisters were attempting."

"He's going to be okay right? I mean… he's going to be okay!" Mary-Lynette's breath was raged with sudden fear. If anything happened to Mark… she didn't know what she would do. It would be as if her only lifeline was gone.

"Mary-Lynette…" Ash's voice was full of regret. He didn't want to be the one to tell her, "They don't know if he's going to be okay. He's in a coma."

**A/N: Hey all the beautiful people who read this story. First of all for all those who question my slightly deranged love for 80s pop music… I'll get Phil Collins to hunt you down! If you don't know who that is… well then I have nothing to say to you. Sorry, you probably don't care. I would also like to say thanks to all those who reviewed. Jesse's Girl was sung… badly and well off tune but still I greatly enjoy the days I get an excuse to sing and dance like Tom Cruise (in Risky Business of course). Sorry again, no more old music and movie references I promise. What I wanted to say was that I basically know where this story is going BUT if you have any suggestions or ideas feel free to tell me. Really, I want to know. I also want to know what you think and be motivated to write the next chapter. I'll give you a little hint… Mary-Lynette… not too happy with Jade. Fuck not too happy, try, furious and vicious… like Sid Vicious vicious… OMG I did it again…. **


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